Could I really be a runner?

This is the question I've been asking myself lately. As I continue with my half marathon/triathlon training program I am really starting to wonder where this new found respect of running came from. Could it be the fact that running 3 miles no longer feels like a chore, and I actually look forward to pushing myself each weekend as me and my training partner's mileage increases each week.
My alarm went off on Saturday morning at 5:15 AM. With the sound of my alarm I questioned my sanity as I woke up and realized that yes, it was Saturday morning, and yes, I was actually kind of excited to run a 10k race. It was my first ever. I've done numerous 5ks and two sprint triathlons but no 10k race. I knew I was capable of running 6 miles, since me and my training partners ran 6.8 last weekend. But could I really compete in a race? The morning was humid and hot, as is the standard for an August morning in Florida. The first mile started out rough, but once my legs shook out I started to fall into a groove. At around 3 miles I started to feel a little rundown. The water stations didn't have water, only gatorade, which really doesn't make that much sense for a 6 mile race. All I wanted at that moment was a glass of water, well ok TWO glasses of water. One to drink. One to dump on my head. At around 4 miles I thought of turning to the woman we were passing and saying, "No offense to you, I'm sure you're a very nice person but I would punch you in the face for a glass of water right now." Must be the volunteers had read my mind because for the last two water stations they finally had WATER!
Around 5.5-6.0 miles there were two women ahead of me. Right before the 6 mile marker I picked it up and sprinted it out to the finish line. They looked like they could be my age group, so I wasn't taking any chances. Not that I ever come to these races thinking I'm going to win. I finished in 1:03:20. Which for me, is a great time! Right around a 10 minute mile.
And to my surprise I got 1st place in my age group. And I actually beat people. It wasn't by default there were actually second and third place finishers. This never happens, and might not happen again but for now I've got a really sweet pint glass to prove it!

Bucket list

So I did it! I went skydiving this morning. Not only did I go skydiving, but I was the last one on the plane and the first one out of it. The whole experience still doesn't feel like it even happened. It's hard to believe it was 12 hours ago, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. It's hard to explain the feeling of free falling. I don't know what I was expecting. I think I was expecting it to be like when you drop in a rollercoaster where your stomach is up in your throat. But it wasn't like that at all. You're really just floating in the air and falling, falling, falling, and next thing you know they pull your chute and your soaring in the sky and spinning, spinning, spinning. It's not for the faint of heart, but if it's something you're considering then you should definately do it!!!
This whole experience has inspired me to write my own bucketlist. I think everyone should have one. It makes life more interesting, and now that I have a big kid job I actually have the funds to pay for some of the things I'd like to do in the future.
As of now this is my bucket list:
1. Skydive
2. Half marathon
3. Swim with dolphins
4. White water rafting
5. Go wine tasting in Napa Valley
6. Gamble on the vegas strip
7. Go on a cruise
8. Backpack in Europe
9. Enjoy my job
10. Fall in love
11. Paintballing

And I'm sure I'll come up with more! What's on yours?

And I'm freeeeeeeeeeeee...

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee falling!
Less than 12 hours from now I will be able to say that I took flight with the birds.
I'm taking the skydiving plunge at 8 AM tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm scared, nervous, excited, or all of the above! I'll update later about the experience, as I'm sure it will be amazing!

Guess who's back...

...back again. And it's not Slim Shady. It's yours truly. I haven't posted in a while because 1) life has been too hectic, 2) I feel like I have had nothing to post about, which is a complete lie considering the move, new job, etc, and c) I've just been too lazy. In fact, I'm mostly posting for Steph (shoutout!) because she pointed out on dailymile that I really haven't posted in a while. What can I say? It's good to be loved!

I think with all the mass chaos that has been going on in my life lately it was hard to pinpoint just one thing to blog about, so instead I just opted against it all together. A lot has happened since my last post. No further dreams about tidal waves, although I was well prepared with my boogie board should the event rear its ugly head. I'm settled into my new place, aside from the random box of DVDs and other random stuff "hidden" in my guest bedroom closet. I'm also pretty comfortable with the area.
It's been a big change, but I think it's a good change. The last time I spent an extended amount of time in Melbourne, FL I dubbed it as my happy place. Who wouldn't be happy with endless amounts of sunshine and southern hospitality? Ok, only if you can get over the humidity and heat index of 105 degrees, but those are just minor details.
I've been running, biking and working out. Once I moved in I had another two weeks before work started because, in case I hadn't already figured it out, Florida is the slowest state on the planet to process any and everything. I must admit I was getting a bit stir crazy the past few days. Almost bored. You would think having two weeks to do nothing would be great. Except when you aren't getting paid for those two weeks and you don't know a whole lot of people.
I did get in some fun stuff in those two weeks. I have two new running partners to do my long runs with, my old roommate came up for my first weekend and we drank too much, and I went to see Brad Paisley and Darius Rucker aka Hootie in West Palm Beach.
Work started today. And it was work. I keep forgetting I'm not longer a student and I am going to expect my own caseload on day one. Which is fine, I was ready and what can I say...the old heads love me. I got proposed to three times today. Now, if only they all weren't about 2-3 times my age I'd consider it a minor success. I'm just fortunate to already be oriented to the computer documentation we use so it made the first day paperwork stress free and I even got out of there with all my notes done.
On another front, I signed up to go skydiving this Saturday. Nothing says, "Congratulations you finished your first full week of reality" like throwing myself out of a plane at 18,000 feet. I think I'm having heart palpitations just thinking about it!

What dreams may come...

So, I'm moved in. For the most part. If you consider a few boxes here and there left to unpack moved in, then yes I am moved in!
I've been busy for the past few days getting everything taken care of in terms of car insurance, utilities, license(s) for both myself and Mr. Lincoln. I knew that relocating was complicated but moving to a different state is a little overwhelming. The family left on Tuesday morning. Not as tearful of a goodbye as I had anticipated, but then again maybe it's becoming pent up and waiting to attack at any given point.
Which leads me to this post about the dream I had last night. Normally, I don't usually remember specifics about dreams all that often. Every once in a while I will, but for the most part I wake up and think, "Huh, that was interesting." But the reason I remember this dream was because I woke up at 4AM sitting on my floor. I've heard of sleepwalking, but I've never heard of sleepcrawling out of bed. I do remember in my dream being in the ocean and all of a sudden turning around and seeing a HUGE HUGE tidal wave behind me and thinking to myself there is no way of getting away from this. So must be by subconscious mind told my dreaming body that crawling out of bed would be the best way to get away from this tidal wave.
The fact that I remembered this dream and also the fact that I physically tried to get away from this tidal wave made me want to research what Tidal Wave dreams mean.

This is what I found

Tidal Wave To see a tidal wave in your dream, represents an overwhelming emotional issue that demands your attention. You may have been keeping your feelings and negative emotions bottled up inside for too long. On a positive note, the tidal wave symbolizes the clearing away of old habits. If you are carried away by the tidal wave, then it means that you are ready to make a brand new start in a new place

Seems kind of fitting for the place I'm at in my life right now. With all the life changes taking place its hard not to feel overwhelmed. So maybe tonight, I'll take a boogie board to bed with me and see what happens!

Peace out PA!

As I have spent the last few nights slowly packing up all of the belongings I've accumulated over the past 25 years I can't help but keep thinking one thing. Ok actually two things. First, what kind of a classy individual chooses to pack their clothing in durable garbage bags in hopes of more compact packing? And second, and more importantly, am I really moving? I've been talking about it for what seems like forever. My job has been lined up since the end of April and I've had my apartment locked in since the middle of June. But is this really it? I'm doing it. I'm moving. Out on my own with my first big girl job with nothing but me and my trusty dog Lincoln for months at a time. Sure, I'll make friends and I know people in Melbourne from my second clinical rotation. But this is it.

Now the even better question is, "Will all of my belongings fit into this?"

Insert picture of 10' Mini Mover Uhaul truck here --->

"...and this?"

Insert picture of 2003 Chevy Cavalier here ->

I sure hope so! But if you knew the massive amounts of belongings one could possibly accumulate in 25 years of existence it's a good freaking question. I prefer to refer to my things as belongings instead of crap. Although halfway through the packing process last night belongings became interchangeable with the loving term crap, stuff, junk, etc, etc...

For now I leave you with the wise words of Mr. Tom Petty...

"Well she was an American Girl. Raised on promises. And she couldn't help thinking that there was a little more to life somewhere else. After all it was a great big world with lots of places to run to."

Hurricane Preparedness

With my upcoming move to Florida staring at me right in the face I couldn't help but think I overlooked one important detail about moving to Florida in the summer.

HURRICANE SEASON...

I know what you're thinking, "That's kind of an important factor to overlook, isn't it?" Well it is, unless you've been dealing with your own personal hurricane since the beginning of May. And that would be Hurricane NPTE. Now that I've conquered that I guess it's time to start preparing myself for worst case scenario.

1. First, get important papers and special photos in order and secured in plastic. Identification is difficult and time-consuming to replace: so be sure to include social security cards, birth certificates, high school diplomas or GED certificates, titles or deeds to property. Photos of special occasions or loved ones cannot be replaced, so including these is important as well.

2. Think ahead and take video or photos of your property before you leave. This will help later on with any insurance checklist claims for damage that may need to be filed.

3. If staying with relatives is not an option, consider booking a room in a hotel or motel in another nearby town or state. Make sure to get directions and put them in the car ahead of time. It is easy to forget that piece of paper in the rush out the door. A cheaper route might be to find temporary hurricane shelters. Usually nearby towns not in the direct path of the hurricane will provide these for people in need.

4. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that your pet will have a place in a motel or hotel. Keep this in mind, and try to find alternate housing like pet-friendly hotels and motels or dog boarding kennels in areas out of the path of the storm until it is safe to return home.

5. Designate a spot, in the hall closet, to keep a bag of clothes for each person in the household. Make sure to include sleeping gear if you plan on going to a temporary shelter.

6. Along with overnight clothes, consider stocking your Hurricane Kit with the following: extra cash, generator, batteries, flash lights, battery operated radio/television, bottled water, toilet paper, non-perishable foods such as cereal or crackers, canned goods, a can opener, a small cooler, candles, prescription medicines and any over-the-counter remedies you use regularly; and if you have small children - diapers, baby wipes, formula, baby food.

7. Count on the power being out for at least a day or two.Remember that ATM's will be non-operating, so have at least some hard cash in your Hurricane Kit (see no. 6, above) to see you through the storm.

When TV and computer games no longer operate, board games or a deck of cards come in handy! Arts and crafts, crayons and downloadable coloring pages are always great distractions for the kids - so make sure you've stored some of these supplies in a tote bag or in the car trunk.

8. If you decide to tough out the storm, stay downwind in your home. This means if the wind is hitting the living room windows, go to the room opposite the living room.

9. Plywood is a 'hot' commodity for those of who decide to stay. Boarding up windows that will take the brunt of the wind and rain is a wise decision. If board is not available, protect your windows from the wind by criss-crossing them with layers of duct or packing tape. This will be enough protection for light-to-medium winds, but learning how to build and install plywood hurricane shutters is your safest bet. If you can afford it, have them installed by a professional.

10. Finally, STAY INSIDE. However tempting it may be to videotape or take photos of the storm, be sure to shoot from indoors - where it's safe, and dry!

Thank you FEMA checklist. Without you I think I would find myself in my apartment bathroom with Lincoln by my side sharing a Nalgene of water and a can of cold Chef Boyardee.

More realistic big kid purchases

Now that my life is off hold I can actually start to follow through with some of the plans I've been formulating in my head while I should have been strictly studying.

All the fun toys I talked about previously are still up there on my list of priorities, but I have a couple of realistic big kid purchases that can be paid for right away.

Both involve fitness, which I'm sure given my interests doesn't really come as all that much of a surprise.

1) 2010 Health First Sprint Triathlon in Melbourne, FL. A.k.a. my new home.

It's October 3, 2010 and the price is $65.00 I believe. Which doesn't seem like a lot, but if you had access to my bank statements at this current time you would realize otherwise. Between the start up costs of moving and all the little things that keep adding up I think it's safer to wait until my first paycheck to register for this race. Besides I have more important things to spend my money on right now. You know insignificant things like first month's rent.

2)2010 Space Coast Half Marathon in Cocoa, FL. Aka very close to my new home.

It's November 28, 2010 which gives me a little more time before I have to register. It costs $70.00 I think. Again, we won't go through the logistics but just know that this will be paid for with my second paycheck. All the more motivation to keep my butt moving. With the close to 5 mile run I did today I think I can swing this race! I've always wanted to do a half marathon and hopefully things will work out in my favor this time!

Victory!

This entry will be short and sweet:

I PASSED!

Hard work pays off

At least that's what I keep telling myself today. It's the last day before D-Day. Seven years of school come down to this test tomorrow. No biggie, right? How do you honestly accumulate 7 years of knowledge and cram it all into one 250 question multiple choice test?

Looking back at the past few months I keep wondering is there anything else I could have done? Could I have studied more? Could I have reviewed more? Could I have taken more practice tests?

Here's the past couple months broken down into numbers:

Since 5/18 I have logged 126 study hours. This does not account for the three weeks of random studying that took place in the month of April prior to graduation.

Since 5/18 I have used 2 1/2 notebooks to take notes while studying. That's roughly $5.00 spent on knowledge.

Since 4/21 I have taken 12 practice exams. Each exam being 200 questions a piece.

Of the 12 practice exams I have gotten above a 70% on 7 of them.

Of the 12 practice exams, my scores were compared to other students taking the same test for two exams. On both exams I scored above the average.

Since 5/18 39 of those days were spent waiting to get permission to take my test.

Looking back at the number break down I think it's safe to say I think I have done all that I could do. Now all that's left to do is take a deep breath, remember all the hard work I have put into getting ready for this exam, and relax. If relaxation is even possible at this point!

Big kid toys!

With all the studying I've been doing over the past couple of months its hard not to think about what the end result has in store.

I mean yea, new found independence, life as a student over as I know it is over, and a biweekly paycheck are nice. But what is it that I want to spend those biweekly paychecks on?

Well, first the obvious answer is: Student Loan Repayments, Rent, Utilities, Bills, bills, bills...

But that's really not as fun.

You hear recent graduates talk about their first "big" purchase. Whether it be the more obvious choices of car, big screen tv, dog, and on and on and on...

Well my sights are set on other things.

Since I will be living in Florida I will be surrounded by water. Whether it be the pool, the ocean, the river, you name it, it's there. What better purchase than a brand new Kayak? Nothing like spending a Saturday or Sunday morning/afternoon out on the intercoastal waterway. With the excitement of wildlife such as manatees and dolphins what is there not to love? Other than the ever present chance of being capsized by a speed boat that is. I hear they go on sale at the end of the season at Dick's Sporting Goods. You better believe my eyes will be kept wide open for a sale on this beauty.

So what else? Let's face it. I love to do triathlons. In fact, I'm training for one right now. But I must admit it's a little bit disheartening to be one of a handful of people

using a mountain bike during the bike portion of the race. Getting passed by other triathlete competitors on their fancy shiny road bikes is enough to make you wish you had one of your own.

I realize these bikes come in all shapes, sizes, and the most important factor, PRICE RANGE. This will be a later purchase. It may not be my first big purchase, but believe me, it's in the future.

Last,but not least, my final prize that I have my eyes set on would have to be the newest piece of technology utilized by water lovers and swimmers alike. I first heard about this fancy piece of technology on Dailymile.com. And right away I knew I had to have it. Waterproof Ipod shuffle with waterproof headphones from swimman.com. The price isn't too steep, so after paying the necessary bills and getting things squared away I may make this my first purchase. It would be awesome to listen to something other than my thoughts while swimming laps. Not that I don't have some interesting thoughts, but that's beside the point.

I run because...

Someone posted this question on the daily mile forum and I thought I would share it here.

"Why do YOU run?"

I run because I love to lose myself, yet find myself at the same time.
I run because I'm competitive, even if my biggest competitor is myself.
I run because I like have trouble going up and down a flight of stairs after logging miles earlier in the morning.
I run because I like the way it makes my legs work.
I run because I like to leave the house in a light grey shirt and return with a dark grey one in its place.
I run because I am having an affair with my Ipod and have an excuse to spend more time with it.
I run because I want to be healthy and lose weight.
I run because I have a shoe fetish that doesn't involve high heels.
I run because I like to eat, and without running I would feel ten times more guilty.
I run because for a brief period this past winter/spring I couldn't due to illness.

Legal action

I finally did it. After contemplating for so long about whether or not to submit my information for further review for the class action lawsuit against Yaz, Yasmin, Ocella I did it. As you may have read in a previous post from way back, I had bilateral pulmonary embolisms and a DVT this past Christmas. Everyone believes it was linked to using Ocella.

Who knows what will come of it. But it won't hurt to find out.

The honeymoon is over

I knew with so many good days of running in a row this past week it would come to an end sooner or later. That later was yesterday morning during the Race for Chase 5k run. I knew it was going to be a little out of my element since the race was held at the state park in our town. The state park that's on a hill. In fact its so much on top of a hill its called Round Top. The only paved and flat course is the paved road at the very top. But the race started at the lower pavilion, key word lower.

I got there a little early to register since I hadn't done so prior to the race. I should have known at that point I was in for an interesting race when lots and lots of cross country runners from around the area were showing up, including my high school's cross country coach. Then my limited memory recalled oh wait, our high school cross country course was at Round Top. Insert feeling of wanting to get back in my car and go home. At that point I came to terms with the fact that I might not PR today.

The race started at 9AM. It was hot and humid. Probably around 150 runners. I took my usual spot at the back of the pack. And followed the heard along the road and into the woods. The trail wasn't too bad at first. Bumpy, rocky with tree roots and uneven ground, but that's to be expected on a trail run, right? I can handle this I said, until I rounded a corner on the trail and saw the hill. With an incline so steep I contemplated climbing it as opposed to running. I started running it, got halfway up and realized at the pace I was running it I would waste less energy walking and still be going about the same speed. So I walked. Not very happy about that but I did. I walked to the top and came out at the top paved area. I started to run again. The course took us one lap around the top and then back down the main road to where we started. Once you got back down to the lower pavilion you went past that, up another road, another steep incline I might add, and back through the woods. All uphill again. I walked most of the uphills. This disappointed me because I usually try to at least SLOWLY job inclines, but with the conditions of the course I knew to embrace walking and make up for it on solid ground.

Past the lower pavilion and back to the original trail I knew to run until I got to the hill and then walk. And walk I did. Another loop around the top road and ended with the finish line at the top. When I got to the top of the hill I knew I could possibly get in under 35 minutes. Which is far off my last race time, but still something I would be ok with. So I rejoined the herd of mostly women who I had been around the rest of the race and picked up my pace. I finished in 34:15. Which like I said could have been better, but could have been a LOT worse.

I had a lady come up to me after the race and thank me for pacing her? I told her no problem, but in the back of my mind thinking, How did I pace anyone when I was basically dying the entire time.

Therapy in the form of running

I have to admit. I was nervous to go for a run today, especially since my 5k this weekend felt so good. I'm a hit or miss kind of runner. One day I love it. One day I hate it. Other days I tolerate it. But today was exactly the run I needed. I needed a good run where I could shut my mind off and just listen to my Ipod and put one foot in front of the other. I haven't had a run like that in so long I was almost convinced that kind of run no longer exists for me...

I think sometimes the playlist makes the run. Do you know how certain lyrics in a song kind of sum up any kind of life experience. Whether it be your current situation, or something in the past.

With my mind on autopilot and no longer gasping for air I could actually listen to my playlist. One WHOLE song after another. One foot in front of the other.

Here's today's playlist with snippets of the lyrics that stood out to me today:

Kid Cudi - Pursuit of Happiness

"I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know not everything that shines is always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it...I'll be good".

Shontelle - Impossible
"Tell them all I know now, shout it from the roof tops. Write it on the sky line. All we had is gone now. Tell them I was happy, and my heart is broken. All my scars are open. Tell them what I hoped would be impossible."

Mika - Love today

"Everybody's gonna love today. Any way you want to. Anyway you've got to. Love, love me"

Eminem ft Rihanna - Love the way you lie

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. Well, thats alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry. Well that's alright because I like the way you lie."

Florence + the machine - Dog Days are Over

"Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father, run fast for your children, for your sisters and brothers. Leave all your love and your longing behind, you can't carry it with you if you want to survive."

Kelis- Acapella

"Till I stopped over thinking and decided to draw back the curtains. And I cleared all the cobwebs and began to let in the light."

Insomnia

I can't sleep. In fact I haven't been able to sleep for the past couple days. I sleep for an hour or two and then wake up and lay there for another hour or two. I think I'm stressed. Excited. Nervous. Scared. Anxious. Scared. Scared. Scared. Or E, all of the above. I write better than I talk, and writing leads to rambling and rambling leads to venting. And since there is no way you can talk back right now, I am talking at you. Or at myself and you just happen to be the person who gets to read it when they wake up in the morning.

Do you ever feel like you're just waiting for something to happen? Almost as if you are waiting for life to happen to you, not around you. I'm so tense right now and so unsure of what the hell I am doing. Or what I'm going to be doing. Why am I moving? Why am I picking up my life and dropping it onto the coast of Florida, alone. Well alone plus Lincoln. Am I running from something? Am I trying to prove a point? It's not that I don't like my family. It's not that. I love my family, although love isn't a word used very often in this household. My parents say it to one another, but I can't remember the last time I heard my dad use that word toward my brother or I. The words I love you are uncomfortable to say. Is that weird? We don't talk about feelings. Things are just assumed. And assumptions lead to miscommunication and never seeing eye to eye. My dad and I are too much alike and we're butting heads lately. About everything. You name it, we get in an argument about it. Whether its me having a short temper or him being too bullheaded to hear my point of view without making assumptions, there's a disagreement. There was another disagreement last night. My life is full of so many unknowns right now I can't take it. He wanted to know specific dates for moving. I don't have specific dates. I don't even know if I will be moving. I don't even know if I'm going to pass my test. No passing equals no moving. And no moving means getting stuck in the valley. It's like a black hole. There is no room for growth. Everyone who stays here gets stagnant and complacent in their lives. The thought of it is suffocating. And frightening.

I feel trapped right now. I'm back in a place where I grew up and I feel like I'm fighting for air. It's like I need to come up for air and I can't. I feel smothered and anxiety levels are high. I'm pulled in ten different directions except nothing is pulling me. It's like my own expectations for myself that are pulling me. I'm almost trying to make an excuse for failure to be an option just so I won't feel so bad if the unmentionable happens and I don't pass my test. Is this normal? Do we prepare ourselves for the worst so that when the best ends up happening we are that more appreciative?

I'm freaking out, man!

Have I reached my breaking point? Not yet, but I feel it coming soon. As you know, or don't know, I've been studying to take my PT board exam. The date has been scheduled. D-Day is next Wednesday which seems like a long time from now, but is approaching like a freight train with lights on high and horn blaring. It makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. My heart rate is through the roof just typing about it.

On top of the exam, I'm moving. Assuming I pass the boards without a hitch I am moving to Florida. From Pennsylvania. 1000+ miles from home and everything I've known for the majority of my 25 short years. It's exciting, it really is. But part of me wonders WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? Does anyone ever really know what they're doing? It's not that I'm not happy with my life in Pennsylvania, but there's other stuff out there that I need to experience, be it on my own or with others. Maybe it's time to grow up? Maybe I have grown up? Maybe I'm freaking out! A new life, a fresh start...is that what you really need? Is this what I really need? Does anyone every reallllly know what they need? So many questions with so little answers.

I'm at a crossroads in my life where I need to feel something.

I think Trace Adkins' said it best

"But I wanna feel something
Something thats a real something
That moves me, that proves to me Im still alive
I wanna heart that beats and bleeds
A heart thats busting at the seams
I wanna care, I wanna cry, I wanna scream
I just wanna feel something ..."

Run it into the ground

Boilermaker 5k Race Report

Utica, NY: The boilermaker is more well known for the 15k run, but there is a 5k event as well. Since I'm not quite ready to take on a 9.3 mile run, I knew I had the 5k no problem. Regardless, of how many races I run I always get nervous right before the event and today was no exception. Maybe it was the fact that I was going to be running amongst 3,000 other runners. That's a big increase from the usual 200-300 I'm used to. Anxiety was high as I made my way to wait for the start. I didn't know what to do in terms of timing. The event was chipped but with that many people you knew that it would be a good decent distance before crossing the start line. What do you do? Do you run to the start, do you follow the herd and do as others are doing? Turns out everyone felt the same way about conserving energy because everyone was walking to the start before running. Good call mass herd of people, I concur! I started my HRM time as soon as I reached the start line.

Mile 1- So they forgot to mention that miles 1 and 3 of the course were uphill. Weaving in and out of people wasn't quite as impossible as one would think. There was a water station right after the start line that people were flocking towards. At that point I made the mental note to avoid whatever side of the road the water stations were on for the remainder of the course. There were times where I felt somewhat like Frogger. Back and forth without getting run over and/or hit. At mile 2 my watch said 8:35. Um fast pace for me much?

Mile 2: What does up must come down. The majority of the second mile was downhill which helped a lot. There were bands every few 100 feet with DJ's and crowds upon crowd upon crowds of people cheering everyone on, regardless if they knew them or not. It was so great and so motivating it was at the point where I told myself, "No matter what happens I'm running this race into the ground. Walking is not an option." End of mile 2 watch said 17:54.

Mile 3: Surprisingly I didn't hit my usual wall. Maybe the treadmill intervals mixed into my running program are helping. Maybe it was the crowds of people and the masses were willing me forward, but whatever it was I knew that I could come in under 31 minutes today. As I said uphill again. But I pushed through and continued to pass people. It was almost like a game at this point, just picking the next person to pass. This race definitely makes me want to run larger races. The crowds and the energy just keep you moving.

With less than .3 miles to go it was go time. I crossed the finish line with a watch time of 30:33. I have a feeling it might be a little bit faster so I'll have to see official chip time when results are posted. But whatever the time was it's an improvement from my last 5k time of 31:45. I've got the runner's bug again...

Today's Playlist:

Enrique Iglesias - I like it

Justin Bieber - Somebody to love

Katy Perry - California Girls

Eminem - Not afraid

Shontelle - Impossible

Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster

Taio Cruz - Dynamite

Natasha Bedingfield - Touch

Keep the races coming!

Heat wave

Well it's weigh in Wednesday, and I'm not as excited to post here as I have been in previous weeks. I gained 2 pounds this week. Blame it on the food, blame it on the drinks, blame it on the weather, blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol...you can blame it on anything really, but at least my week starts over today. I was slowly getting back on track from the weekend so I'm really not surprised I gained weight. It could have been worse. It could have been like 10 pounds, if that's even possible, which it isn't I looked it up. It could be my Friday night pizza and beer fest at Party on the patio, it could have been the numerous mayo based salads I consumed between Saturday and Sunday, it could have been the numerous hotdogs I ingested throughout the past 4-5 days. It's done, it's over and next week there will be a loss.

Warning: The following rant may offend you if you participate in the activity I'm about to discuss. If it does and you do, I apologize in advance

It's hot out. I get that. I can read the thermometer on the deck outside or check the temperature on weather.com.

So why, why, why do people insist on taking a picture of the thermometer reading inside your car and posting it on Facebook? We get it, its hot. We knew it was hot before you

shared the temperature reading with the rest of the social networking community.

It wasn't as if I woke up this morning oblivious to the heat being blown in through my window box fan until I logged on Facebook and saw your picture and immediately realized just how unbearably hot it is outside. You're a regular freaking meteorologist aren't you?

*End Rant* I'm sorry maybe I'm just bitter because my parents refuse to install the A/C unit.

I must confess...

I peeked at the scale today. I usually do on Tuesday mornings. I don't know why, but I almost always do, even though my weigh in day is Wednesday and it really won't make any difference between Tuesday and Wednesday morning. Well I'm up 3.5 pounds since last weigh in. Um, is that even possible? I know I didn't do so hot this weekend foodwise but I've gotten in hella APs, 61.5 to be exact. I'm hoping some of it is water weight from all the sodium and deliciousness and retaining water from lifting weights yesterday.

We'll see what my friend the scale says tomorrow morning. If it could speak it would probably just say, "Stop going to picnics, idiot!"

Damage control and today's tunes.

In leui of anything interesting to post I could talk about how much damage control I'm going to have to do this week to undo my weekend full of picnics and deliciousness. But instead all I can say I tracked it, got in my exercise each day, and enjoyed my food...ok maybe enjoyed a little TOO much but whatev. Back on track starting...NOW. Boilermaker 5k this weekend so gotta clean up my act if I want to see some improvement!

Today's Top Ten Tunes!

Here's what's on cycling through my Ipod this week.

1. Taio Cruz - Dynamite <---obsessed

2. Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster

3. Lil Jon and LMFAO - Get outta your mind <--- Thank you So You Think You Can Dance

4. Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts <---Once again big shout out to SYTYCD

5. Florence + The machines - Cosmis Love <---Um can you say SYTYCD again?

6. Mike Posner - You think you're cooler than me

7. Drake ft Nikki Minaj - Up all night

8. N.E.R.D- Hot n fun

9. The Cranberries - Zombie <--- Whoa throwback!

10. Snow Patrol - Set Fire to the Third bar

Oh, almost forgot! I finally got my authorization to test. D-Day has been set for July 21 at 8:30 AM. Getting in the routine of waking up at at a decent time i.e 7:45 AM starts TOMORROW. It's kind of a good thing, because the weather forecast this week is humid with a side of heat from hell. So I can get my runs/workouts in early morning before I melt into a puddle on the sidewalk mid-run.

Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday weekend! Keep it classy.

Weigh in Wednesday!

It's that time again.

I was a little nervous for weigh in today. I was almost positive it would be a gain. It's been so hot and humid here for the past week and it makes you feel all sorts of bloated. But I faced my friend the scale this morning, and I'm down 1 pound. I feel like after all the time I spend with my scale I almost need to name it. That way I have someone to yell at when I don't see the results I want.

I didn't meet my July goal of 195 by July 1, unless I miraculously lose 2 pounds between now and tomorrow morning. But I'm still steadily losing each week. Time to set some new goals. Maybe a goal weight for August 1? Maybe a goal weight for Labor Day?

Alright, we're going to enter into Judgement Free zone for a few sentences:

I'm 25 years old, and I am here to report that I went to the midnight premiere of Eclipse. Doors opened at 10:30 and when my friend and I got there it was mass chaos, complete mayhem, overall shitshow, and all of the above. We're talking pre-teen and teenage girls screaming, running up and down the aisles, and dancing on the stage. Somehow the manager of the local theater thought, "Hey, you know what would make this night even better? Let's hire a DJ to play from 10:30 until the start of the movie." Was it a good idea? Maybe, but that's still to be determined. Don't ask me why I like Twilight. Really, don't ask, because I honestly don't have an answer. The author's writing is sub-par, and the movies are sometimes painful to watch due to awkward onscreen romance and a cast full of B rate actors/actresses. But yet I'm sucked in nonetheless. When will I grow up?

Hopefully NEVER!

Today's work out was brought to you by...

Lil' Wayne and Lil' Jon

I didn't plan it that way. But my playlist today was a mash up of primarily Lil' Wayne and Lil' Jon songs. I'm not complaining. I mean, I don't mind the company on my runs from time to time.

Today's Play list:

Flo-Rida - In the Ayer

Lil' Wayne - I'm me

Lil Jon - Give it all you got

Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz - Get Low

Lil' Wayne - Mrs. Officer

Lil' wayne - A millie

LMFAO ft Lil Jon - SHOTS!

I' d like to take this opportunity to address the populaton we like to call operators of motorized vehicles. Being a pedestrian quite often, since I do what we like to call exercise on an everyday basis, I have observed the following thing about operators of motorized vehicles. Over the years they have developed a staring problem. Yes, its true, I am on foot, bike, blade, whichever I prefer for that particular day, and you are behind the wheel. This conclusion can be drawn with a simple one second glance, not craning your neck to make sure you saw right. I know from first glance it looks as though me running is breaking all laws, rules, statements of physics. But, yes I am on the sidewalk and you are on the road. I am burning calories and you are burning fuel. Fuel which in the near future will cost you one arm, both legs and your soul.

END RANT. *Cue music*

Beer + 15k = Good

Where do I sign up? I may have a runner's high right now, but I know I'm definately not high enough to convince myself that I'm ready for a 15k on July 11th. Enter Boilermaker 15k in Utica, NY.

"The Boilermaker 15K road race hosts over 10,000 runners per year. Boilermaker Weekend offers events for participants of every age and skill level. It has grown to include fitness and special events, such as a 5K Run, a 3 Mile Walk, a Youth Run, an Invitational Mile, Kids' Olympics, a Health and Fitness Expo., and more. Designed around the weekend’s crown jewel, the Boilermaker 15K Road Race, Boilermaker Weekend promotes a healthy lifestyle with a focus on fun, family, and community spirit!"

Did I mention it's sponsored by a brewery? With beer served at the post-race party? And each race participant receives a Boilermaker pint glass?

Lucky for me, they have a 5k race to remedy my itch to run again! You'll find me at the finish line belly up under the Saranac tent. Game on!

Running...and running...and running

First 5k since PE/DVT in the books. Jim King Memorial 5k race held here in my hometown Athens, PA. I went to school with Jim's son Devin so not only was it a great opportunity to get out and run, but it was also for a good cause. Devin's dad died of brain cancer 5 years ago and he was really really active in the community, head of the fire department and really big on community events. They've been holding this run for him every year since he passed. It starts and finishing at the Fire Department...very fitting.

Here's the route. Not bad. Your standard out and back course. Mostly flat with a couple hills, but mostly gradual inclines. I've run this route a few times in the weeks leading up to the race so I kind of knew what to expect, where I hit my walls and where I could coast through.

I felt pretty good for the first mile. The first .5 miles is on a somewhat incline so again I knew what to expect. At the one mile marker I knew I was running a pretty good pace. I came across the mile marker at 9:50. A little bit faster than my usual pace for 10 minute miles. At that point I knew I had to keep it up if I wanted to get in under 32:00. My all time personal best for a 5k is 30:15, but I knew I wasn't touching that today.

Mile 2 was ok. I hit a wall around the 1.5 mile marker, like I always do. That's something I need to work on. I feel like I come out strong but halfway through my body decides it doesn't really agree with what I'm doing anymore.

Mile 2. Came across at 20:23. So that's roughly a 10:30 split. I'll take it. At this point I knew I had a little over 12 minutes to get my sorry butt back across that finish line if I wanted to

make my goal today.

Around 2.5 miles I was feeling good. I was enjoying the atmosphere, and I even passed some people. I caught up to Devin around 2.75 miles and we ran the rest out together. I apologized because I'm not much for small talk when I'm running...I'm more a fan of breathing and not passing out.

3 mile marker. I crossed in 30:35. Ok I had a little over a minute and a half to get my sorry butt across that finish line. Only complication. My headphones died about a half mile back. So the usual sounds of Coheed and Cambria - In keeping secrets of silent earth were not pushing me across the finish line at this point. I kicked it into high gear and finished in 31:45. I'll take it. Considering the last 5k I did I finished in 36:41. With some stops to walk. Next race...not sure. But I'll be ready!

Today's Playlist:

Usher- O.M.G

Eminem - Not Afraid

Ludacris- My chick bad

3oh!3 ft Ke$ha- My first kiss

Christina Aguilera ft Nikki Minaj - Woohoo

Mika- Love Today

Florence + the Machine - Dog Days are Over

Coheed and Cambria - In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth (well the first 30 seconds before my headphones died)

I have something I like to call runner's ADD when I listen to my Ipod. I'm sure there were brief snippets of other songs in there, but I get trigger happy and skip halfway through.

Hello Guilt, we meet again...

I should have known my statement at lunch today would come back to haunt me. Either that or it was a premonition of things to come. I spent the morning studying for my boards and subconsciously thinking about my bank account and the downward slide it continues to take with each passing day.

I made myself some Smartones Mini Pizza Bagels (5 points) and a low point salad. As I was eating my mini bagels I was thinking out loud to my brother and sister-in-law, "I could really sit down and eat an entire pizza right now."

Fast forward to this evening. I got in a nice bike ride along the river and back. I tried to kick it into high gear and finish the 5.4 mile route in 25 minutes. Unfortunately, I came in just

over 26 minutes. I came home and my parents had gotten Pizza Hut pizza and breadsticks for dinner. At first I told myself no, don't eat it. But one breadstick turned into 3 breadsticks and one piece of pizza turned into 3 pieces of pizza. And now here I am. Full. Do I regret it? Kind of, but I tracked it and I had the weekly points for it. And will get in more APs this weekend with my 5k tomorrow. Maybe I'll just tell myself it was carbo loading before the race tomorrow.

On a lighter note, it's my first 5k tomorrow post PE/DVT. I'm excited and nervous, but mostly excited and ready to run again. Check back tomorrow for race details.

Too much time on my hands...

It's funny how things turn out, huh? In all my years of living I never really understood that saying. How is it that things turning out poorly are "funny." Or things that turn out differently than expected are 'funny.' What's funny? Everytime things don't go as planned I don't laugh my ass off. Oh, you want me to say that things are ironic. Alanis Morissette shot that theory down with her song about things being ironic. When in all reality everything she sang about wasn't in fact ironic, they just plain sucked.

Here's something I've been pondering for quite some time. If given the opportunity to utilize a time machine, would you? A majority of you would say yes without skipping a beat. But think about it. And I mean really think about it, would you really change the past? And who's to say changing the past would make your present that much greater? Think of the movie Butterfly Effect. He goes back to change one thing and the next thing you know...BAM not having any appendages. Imagine waking up to that one.

Why change the past? Its done and over with. If you're still living and breathing apparently you didn't die from it. It may have hurt like hell at the time whether it be emotional or physical pain, but hey there you are. A normal functioning human being, granted our definition of normal is all the same.

Everyone has that one person they say they wish they had never met. I've even taken that into consideration as well. But for as much pain thats been caused I still am always glad to have met them. Regardless of how things ended or are progressing. You learned something. And chances are you cared a lot about whoever this person is. Things happen for reasons. No, F that. Things happen because you make them happen. And everything from that point is just a result of the decisions you make. Our lives are split into series of moments. Before this and after that.

I don't quit, I resign.

I found this on my old blog...

To Whom It May Concern:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old. The tax base is lower. I want to be six again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big Oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summers' day. I want to stay up late on Christmas Eve and wait for Santa Claus and his reindeer.

I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips. I want to be happy, because I don't know what should make me upset. I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much.

I want to be six again. I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever, because I don't know the concept of death. I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something used for escape from the things I should be doing. I want to live knowing the little things that I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them. I want to be six again.

I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me. I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else. I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for. I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist, and how to find the money to fix the old car. I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up and what I'll be, who I'll be and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.

I want that time back. I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of homework,or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth. I want to be six again.

Sincerely,
Lindsay

And these are a few of my favorite things...

I feel the need to counteract the negativity radiating from my last post.

Behold a sampling of my favorite things:

In the world of workout I have several staple items that I must have in order to sweat properly:

Polar F6 Heart Rate Monitor. Where would my workouts be without it? I've had this since December of last year. It pushes me to go that extra 23 calories to put me at 600, 700, etc. For once I don't feel so guilty about eating my activity points.

Ipod Nano. Hello music to and in my ears. Whether my nano is telling me to "Just Dance" or Coldplay is serenading me with their ballad dedicated to my favorite color, yellow, I can not...will not...should not leave the house without this piece of technology. Check out this week's Top Ten Tunes to see what's on repeat this week.

My current shoe obsession is Saucony. I've been known to dabble with the likes of Brooks, Asics, and New Balance but Saucony just keeps me coming back for more. Now if only these shoes could help me run a 7:00 minute mile and it really would be a match made in heaven. Saucony, my feet thank you!

Stuck in the middle

Raise your hand if your life is in Limbo right now.

No? Just me?

I'm in that weird transition period being being a student and being a professional. While I have graduated with my Doctorate that degree is otherwise useless without a license number. Its funny to think just a few numbers stand between me and practicing Physical Therapy. You would think 7 years of schooling should count for something more than a diploma in a pretty frame that can't really be used until you have a license. I mean I get it. You need to ensure that the public will be in good hands with all the new practitioners out there. But really all I want to do is schedule my test.

I wish they had told you in school how fun the licensing process would be. They explained the exam and told you how to prepare for it, but what they failed to mention is just how much fun the waiting game is. At this point I am frustrated with someone I've never even met. I submitted my licensure application to the state of Florida in the middle of May. I receive an email today that said my application has been put on the agenda to be submitted to eligibility on June 30th. Huh? In simple terms please? Basically my application has been accepted but now I just get to wait another week on top of the several weeks I've been waiting.

It wouldn't be so bad if I could schedule my exam, but I can't do that without an authorization to test, which doesn't come until your application is approved for eligibility. So now I'm studying with no end in sight. I wanted to originally take my test either this week or next week, but as you can see that is clearly not the case.

So until then, I will continue to study...and study...and study....and study...and to mix it up a little bit take a few more practice tests.

Sorry for the long post. To summarize: I'd like my life to be off hold so I can take my test. Pass. Move to Florida. Start my job. The end....or the beginning?

ABC's of Me

I've seen this on several blogs I follow, so here it is:

A – Age: 25
B – Bed size: Full
C – Chore you hate: Laundry
D – Dog’s name: Lincoln
E – Essential start your day item: Shower
F – Favorite color(s): YELLOW
G – Gold or Silver: Silver
H – Height: 5’7"
I – Instruments you play: Flute. But not currently.
J – Job title: Physical Therapist... as soon as I pass my boards.
K – Kid: Puppy's count as kids.
L – Living arrangements: Living with the 'rents until I pass the boards...then FLORIDA BOUND
M – Mom’s name: Martha
N – Nicknames: Athens, A-Train, Linds
O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Dec '09 for PE/DVT
P – Pet Peeve: Hearing people drink anything liquid. Loud drinkers I guess you can say.
Q – Quote from a movie: "Hey, how you doing? How 'bout that ride in, haha. I guess that's why they call it sin city"
R – Right or left handed: Right
S – Siblings: Ian and Sister-in-law Erica
T – Time you wake up: Around 9
U – Underwear: Currently Victoria's Secrets Pink
V – Vegetable you dislike: MUSHROOMS
W – Workout style: High impact- running, spinning, kickboxing, body sculpting.
X – X-rays you’ve had: chest, teeth
Y – Yesterday’s best moment: Forcing myself to go for a run.
Z – Zoo favorite: Monkeys, penguins

Weigh in Wednesday!

Good morning/afternoon! Today is weigh in Wednesday. I really don't know why I originally chose Wednesday as a WI day. It's just always been the day I've done it. I think originally my logic was that it was far enough from the weekend that I could self correct any damage that had been done, yet close enough to the weekend that I still have all my weeklies for anything I want to do on the weekend. Plus I've found that Wednesdays my weight is usually at its lowest. Yea, anyway....

Today I lost 1.5 pounds, putting me at 198 for the week. I'll take it. I'm slowly creeping toward my goal of 195 by July 1. Is it still possible? Yes, we'll see.

On an unrelated weight loss note, GO USA! World Cup is in the air, and I can almost hear the Vuvuzela like it's in my own backyard.

Part of what makes me...ME

At 24 years old, I was not the first person you would suspect to have a pulmonary embolism. Let alone bilateral blood clots in both lungs and a DVT in my right calf. So imagine my surprise when a trip to the ER secondary to chest pain and coughing up blood gave me that result.

I recently graduated with my Doctorate of Physical Therapy. I have spent the last two decades of my life in school and have been counting down the days until it was all over. I've had overall good health up until now, with the occasional cold or sore throat. I've had my musculoskeletal issues due to over training, or just not knowing when to give my body a rest. I've also been on birth control since I graduated high school. I started out on Yasmin, and about a year ago I was switched to Ocella.

My symptoms first started over last Thanksgiving. I was in Atlanta, GA for a clinical rotation about 14 hours away from my hometown. I decided to take a trip down to Tampa to visit classmates for the holiday since we were all orphaned. It was about an 8 hour drive and I was slightly nervous because I had never taken a trip that far by myself. Thanksgiving day during dinner I got a calf cramp. It felt like one of those cramps you get during the night and you feel sore for a couple days afterward. Not a painful sore, just like you worked your muscles the previous day. I brushed it off. As a PT student I know what a DVT is. But again I brushed it off. I'm young, I'm healthy and that stuff doesn't happen to me.

The pain persisted for almost a week. I stretched, I iced, I exercised, I stretched some more. I took ibuprofen. I used heat, I did soft tissue massage. And yet never once did I think, maybe it could be a DVT. I knew the signs, and I knew the risks, and I did nothing.

The pain went away. And I continued with my normal routine. Spinning, running, lifting, biking, swimming, etc. Again I was invincible. I'm young, I'm healthy and that stuff doesn't happen to me.

Fast forward to Christmas eve. I start to complaining of some back pain on the way home from last minute shopping. I went through everything I did at the gym that day that could have caused me pain. I blamed it on my run that day. Christmas day I start to have pain in my ribs on the left side and its starting to hurt when I take a deep breath. I mentioned it to my dad who is a respiratory therapist. He told me to keep an eye on it over the next few days because it could be the start of pleurisy or pneumonia. The next day I started to get pain in my left shoulder. Again my dad says to keep an eye on it because that could be referred pain from pleurisy or pneumonia. By the time Monday rolled around it's not getting any better. I feel a "rubbing" sensation in my left side when I take a deep breath. My dad and I went to the walk in clinic. The standard exam. But the nurse practitioner said something to me that stood out and stayed with me when she sent me to get chest x rays to rule out pleurisy or pneumonia, "Hmm it sounds something like a pulmonary embolism, but then again you're too young for that."

The wheels in my head started turning. My dad and I went over it on the way home. PE? Calf pain at thanksgiving...but that was 4-5 weeks ago with no further symptoms. PE? No way, you're healthy, you're young and that sort of thing wouldn't happen to you.

Tuesday morning I'm awake at 4 AM in severe pain. Severe stabbing pain in both sides of my chest and back. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to move, it hurts in general. I'm starting to cough and this time its not a dry cough. I'm coughing up blood. At this point my no nonsense dad is throwing me in the car and taking me to the ER. If you want door to door service at the ER, tell them you're coughing up blood. You are triaged, and in a room with a doctor at your side in no time. I explained my story, my what seemed like outlandish story to the doctor. At this point it feels like I've rattled off my symptoms for 10+ people in the past two days. And then I mentioned the calf pain from prior and the coughing up blood. I get 6 tubes of blood drawn.

After an hour of watching the Today Show and pretending to be distracted my doctor comes back and explains my D dimers are elevated and I need a contrast chest CT scan. I make a joke about it being my lucky day and blah blah blah. We laugh, but on the inside I'm not laughing. Not laughing at all. I'm young, I'm healthy, and this sort of thing doesn't happen to me.

Another wait and another doctor comes and goes. My chest CT is positive for bilateral pulmonary embolisms in the bases of my lungs. Wait, bilateral? So not one, but two pulmonary embolisms. And now I'm having ultrasounds done on both of my legs to determine whether or not there are more clots that could cause further damage.

Another nurse and another wait and I'm covered in ultrasound gel making small talk with the woman who is about to tell me what I didn't want to hear. "There it is, we spoke too soon. There's a clot behind your right knee." Oh that leg, yea the one I ignored and brushed off as nothing because I'm young, I'm healthy and that sort of thing doesn't happen to me. But the thing is that sort of thing did happen to me.

Drugs are being rattled off at rapid fire, possible scenarios are being discussed with me. Next thing you know I'm being admitted to the hospital for further observation and the only thing I can think to ask my dad is, "Are you sure they won't at least let me go home and take a shower first, I promise I'll come back."

So here I am. 25 years old. I'm still young, but I'm not so healthy anymore. My 25 year old life just got a little more complicated. Somewhere between daily injections of Lovenox into my abdomen and daily blood tests to determine INR levels I'm not so young and not so healthy anymore and this sort of thing just happened to me.

Is my life over? No, not in the least. I'm just not allowed to do some of the things I like to do. My triathlon training is put on hold for the season. But I'm alive. I'm alive when some odds say I probably shouldn't be.

Am I angry? Yes and no. Angry at who? Myself? Ocella? Long drives? It's easy to blame something or someone. Maybe if I had paid more attention at the time this could have been avoided, but that's not the case. The only option I have now is to make the best of an otherwise sucky situation. And share my story and live and learn. And continue to be thankful that even though this sort of thing did happen to me, I'm young and I'm healthy.

Running down a dream...

Or running in the opposite direction. I've always had a love/hate relationship with running and today's run was of mixed emotions. I wish running came easy to me and I wish it wasn't one of those things that 95% of the time feels like a chore and the other 5% I feel like a lunatic for enjoying.

I'm trying to get back into running. My ultimate goal is to someday do a half marathon. I've done a couple sprint triathlons which I'm really proud of, but never a half marathon. Something about running 13.1 miles at one time should normally send most people doing the exact opposite, or at least running in the opposite direction. I've made multiple attempts at training for a half. First attempt, failed by foot injury default. Second attempt, failed by other health concerns (which will be posted in a seperate blog in and of itself).

Maybe this time is the time that I can do it. Any tips from people who have done half marathons?

Today's Top Ten Tunes.

Music is a big part of my life. Also, since I like to exercise like a fiend it's a big part of my workout motivation. I tend to get somewhat obsessed with a couple of songs per week and they get frequented in Itunes for about 2-3 weeks. I'll be posting my current obsession weekly for anyone who needs some ear candy to get them going.

Today's Top Ten Tunes:

1. Usher - O.M.G ---> OBSESSED!

2. Enrique Iglesias - I like it

---> Never said I was proud of my choices.

3. Justin Bieber - Somebody to Love

---->Yep, I'm 25 and I have Bieber Fever. Again, never said I was proud.

4. Lady Gaga- So Happy I could Die

5. Paramore - The Only Exception

6. Jason Mraz - Beautiful Mess

7. Lady Antebellum - American Honey

8. Zac Brown Band - Free

9. Eminem ft Rihanna - I love the way you lie

10. Florence + the Machine - Dog days are over

I'm a Big Kid now!

So here I am. Doing something I never thought I would do. I read a lot of blogs, but I've never really wanted to write my own. What if no one read it? What if someone read it and didn't like it? What if I didn't like it? What if I spent a lot of time just rambling about the uneventful days that make up my day to day life. But then I came a revelation. Big Kids have Adventures. And this is the first of many.

I graduated in May. May 8, 2010 to be exact with my Doctorate of Physical Therapy and not a lot of money in my bank account. I'm currently studying for my dreaded boards and trying to do all the things I used to do when I was in undergrad during the summer. Finding a balance between the two has proven to be somewhat time consuming in and of itself.

My days aren't really that exciting thus far, probably not even blogworthy, but they are now.

Why am I here? Isn't this the part of the blog entry where you tell your life story and state your reason for being here? I can't really pinpoint a particular reason, or state a main theme for this blog. I created this blog partly because I wanted a place to vent, to write and to document what's going on in my life. I also created this blog to kind of track my weight loss journey. The title of this post doesn't just refer to me being a grown up now in a big kid world. I'm also a big kid. I've struggled with weight my whole life and coincidentally have always been pretty active and "fit" to put it loosely.

I'm hoping I can come here to post about my goals, dreams, set backs, accomplishments, failures, and everything else in between. And maybe I'll have a fan club form somewhere along the way!