I'm freaking out, man!

Have I reached my breaking point? Not yet, but I feel it coming soon. As you know, or don't know, I've been studying to take my PT board exam. The date has been scheduled. D-Day is next Wednesday which seems like a long time from now, but is approaching like a freight train with lights on high and horn blaring. It makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. My heart rate is through the roof just typing about it.

On top of the exam, I'm moving. Assuming I pass the boards without a hitch I am moving to Florida. From Pennsylvania. 1000+ miles from home and everything I've known for the majority of my 25 short years. It's exciting, it really is. But part of me wonders WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? Does anyone ever really know what they're doing? It's not that I'm not happy with my life in Pennsylvania, but there's other stuff out there that I need to experience, be it on my own or with others. Maybe it's time to grow up? Maybe I have grown up? Maybe I'm freaking out! A new life, a fresh start...is that what you really need? Is this what I really need? Does anyone every reallllly know what they need? So many questions with so little answers.

I'm at a crossroads in my life where I need to feel something.

I think Trace Adkins' said it best

"But I wanna feel something
Something thats a real something
That moves me, that proves to me Im still alive
I wanna heart that beats and bleeds
A heart thats busting at the seams
I wanna care, I wanna cry, I wanna scream
I just wanna feel something ..."