Peace out PA!

As I have spent the last few nights slowly packing up all of the belongings I've accumulated over the past 25 years I can't help but keep thinking one thing. Ok actually two things. First, what kind of a classy individual chooses to pack their clothing in durable garbage bags in hopes of more compact packing? And second, and more importantly, am I really moving? I've been talking about it for what seems like forever. My job has been lined up since the end of April and I've had my apartment locked in since the middle of June. But is this really it? I'm doing it. I'm moving. Out on my own with my first big girl job with nothing but me and my trusty dog Lincoln for months at a time. Sure, I'll make friends and I know people in Melbourne from my second clinical rotation. But this is it.

Now the even better question is, "Will all of my belongings fit into this?"

Insert picture of 10' Mini Mover Uhaul truck here --->

"...and this?"

Insert picture of 2003 Chevy Cavalier here ->

I sure hope so! But if you knew the massive amounts of belongings one could possibly accumulate in 25 years of existence it's a good freaking question. I prefer to refer to my things as belongings instead of crap. Although halfway through the packing process last night belongings became interchangeable with the loving term crap, stuff, junk, etc, etc...

For now I leave you with the wise words of Mr. Tom Petty...

"Well she was an American Girl. Raised on promises. And she couldn't help thinking that there was a little more to life somewhere else. After all it was a great big world with lots of places to run to."

Hurricane Preparedness

With my upcoming move to Florida staring at me right in the face I couldn't help but think I overlooked one important detail about moving to Florida in the summer.

HURRICANE SEASON...

I know what you're thinking, "That's kind of an important factor to overlook, isn't it?" Well it is, unless you've been dealing with your own personal hurricane since the beginning of May. And that would be Hurricane NPTE. Now that I've conquered that I guess it's time to start preparing myself for worst case scenario.

1. First, get important papers and special photos in order and secured in plastic. Identification is difficult and time-consuming to replace: so be sure to include social security cards, birth certificates, high school diplomas or GED certificates, titles or deeds to property. Photos of special occasions or loved ones cannot be replaced, so including these is important as well.

2. Think ahead and take video or photos of your property before you leave. This will help later on with any insurance checklist claims for damage that may need to be filed.

3. If staying with relatives is not an option, consider booking a room in a hotel or motel in another nearby town or state. Make sure to get directions and put them in the car ahead of time. It is easy to forget that piece of paper in the rush out the door. A cheaper route might be to find temporary hurricane shelters. Usually nearby towns not in the direct path of the hurricane will provide these for people in need.

4. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that your pet will have a place in a motel or hotel. Keep this in mind, and try to find alternate housing like pet-friendly hotels and motels or dog boarding kennels in areas out of the path of the storm until it is safe to return home.

5. Designate a spot, in the hall closet, to keep a bag of clothes for each person in the household. Make sure to include sleeping gear if you plan on going to a temporary shelter.

6. Along with overnight clothes, consider stocking your Hurricane Kit with the following: extra cash, generator, batteries, flash lights, battery operated radio/television, bottled water, toilet paper, non-perishable foods such as cereal or crackers, canned goods, a can opener, a small cooler, candles, prescription medicines and any over-the-counter remedies you use regularly; and if you have small children - diapers, baby wipes, formula, baby food.

7. Count on the power being out for at least a day or two.Remember that ATM's will be non-operating, so have at least some hard cash in your Hurricane Kit (see no. 6, above) to see you through the storm.

When TV and computer games no longer operate, board games or a deck of cards come in handy! Arts and crafts, crayons and downloadable coloring pages are always great distractions for the kids - so make sure you've stored some of these supplies in a tote bag or in the car trunk.

8. If you decide to tough out the storm, stay downwind in your home. This means if the wind is hitting the living room windows, go to the room opposite the living room.

9. Plywood is a 'hot' commodity for those of who decide to stay. Boarding up windows that will take the brunt of the wind and rain is a wise decision. If board is not available, protect your windows from the wind by criss-crossing them with layers of duct or packing tape. This will be enough protection for light-to-medium winds, but learning how to build and install plywood hurricane shutters is your safest bet. If you can afford it, have them installed by a professional.

10. Finally, STAY INSIDE. However tempting it may be to videotape or take photos of the storm, be sure to shoot from indoors - where it's safe, and dry!

Thank you FEMA checklist. Without you I think I would find myself in my apartment bathroom with Lincoln by my side sharing a Nalgene of water and a can of cold Chef Boyardee.

More realistic big kid purchases

Now that my life is off hold I can actually start to follow through with some of the plans I've been formulating in my head while I should have been strictly studying.

All the fun toys I talked about previously are still up there on my list of priorities, but I have a couple of realistic big kid purchases that can be paid for right away.

Both involve fitness, which I'm sure given my interests doesn't really come as all that much of a surprise.

1) 2010 Health First Sprint Triathlon in Melbourne, FL. A.k.a. my new home.

It's October 3, 2010 and the price is $65.00 I believe. Which doesn't seem like a lot, but if you had access to my bank statements at this current time you would realize otherwise. Between the start up costs of moving and all the little things that keep adding up I think it's safer to wait until my first paycheck to register for this race. Besides I have more important things to spend my money on right now. You know insignificant things like first month's rent.

2)2010 Space Coast Half Marathon in Cocoa, FL. Aka very close to my new home.

It's November 28, 2010 which gives me a little more time before I have to register. It costs $70.00 I think. Again, we won't go through the logistics but just know that this will be paid for with my second paycheck. All the more motivation to keep my butt moving. With the close to 5 mile run I did today I think I can swing this race! I've always wanted to do a half marathon and hopefully things will work out in my favor this time!

Victory!

This entry will be short and sweet:

I PASSED!

Hard work pays off

At least that's what I keep telling myself today. It's the last day before D-Day. Seven years of school come down to this test tomorrow. No biggie, right? How do you honestly accumulate 7 years of knowledge and cram it all into one 250 question multiple choice test?

Looking back at the past few months I keep wondering is there anything else I could have done? Could I have studied more? Could I have reviewed more? Could I have taken more practice tests?

Here's the past couple months broken down into numbers:

Since 5/18 I have logged 126 study hours. This does not account for the three weeks of random studying that took place in the month of April prior to graduation.

Since 5/18 I have used 2 1/2 notebooks to take notes while studying. That's roughly $5.00 spent on knowledge.

Since 4/21 I have taken 12 practice exams. Each exam being 200 questions a piece.

Of the 12 practice exams I have gotten above a 70% on 7 of them.

Of the 12 practice exams, my scores were compared to other students taking the same test for two exams. On both exams I scored above the average.

Since 5/18 39 of those days were spent waiting to get permission to take my test.

Looking back at the number break down I think it's safe to say I think I have done all that I could do. Now all that's left to do is take a deep breath, remember all the hard work I have put into getting ready for this exam, and relax. If relaxation is even possible at this point!

Big kid toys!

With all the studying I've been doing over the past couple of months its hard not to think about what the end result has in store.

I mean yea, new found independence, life as a student over as I know it is over, and a biweekly paycheck are nice. But what is it that I want to spend those biweekly paychecks on?

Well, first the obvious answer is: Student Loan Repayments, Rent, Utilities, Bills, bills, bills...

But that's really not as fun.

You hear recent graduates talk about their first "big" purchase. Whether it be the more obvious choices of car, big screen tv, dog, and on and on and on...

Well my sights are set on other things.

Since I will be living in Florida I will be surrounded by water. Whether it be the pool, the ocean, the river, you name it, it's there. What better purchase than a brand new Kayak? Nothing like spending a Saturday or Sunday morning/afternoon out on the intercoastal waterway. With the excitement of wildlife such as manatees and dolphins what is there not to love? Other than the ever present chance of being capsized by a speed boat that is. I hear they go on sale at the end of the season at Dick's Sporting Goods. You better believe my eyes will be kept wide open for a sale on this beauty.

So what else? Let's face it. I love to do triathlons. In fact, I'm training for one right now. But I must admit it's a little bit disheartening to be one of a handful of people

using a mountain bike during the bike portion of the race. Getting passed by other triathlete competitors on their fancy shiny road bikes is enough to make you wish you had one of your own.

I realize these bikes come in all shapes, sizes, and the most important factor, PRICE RANGE. This will be a later purchase. It may not be my first big purchase, but believe me, it's in the future.

Last,but not least, my final prize that I have my eyes set on would have to be the newest piece of technology utilized by water lovers and swimmers alike. I first heard about this fancy piece of technology on Dailymile.com. And right away I knew I had to have it. Waterproof Ipod shuffle with waterproof headphones from swimman.com. The price isn't too steep, so after paying the necessary bills and getting things squared away I may make this my first purchase. It would be awesome to listen to something other than my thoughts while swimming laps. Not that I don't have some interesting thoughts, but that's beside the point.

I run because...

Someone posted this question on the daily mile forum and I thought I would share it here.

"Why do YOU run?"

I run because I love to lose myself, yet find myself at the same time.
I run because I'm competitive, even if my biggest competitor is myself.
I run because I like have trouble going up and down a flight of stairs after logging miles earlier in the morning.
I run because I like the way it makes my legs work.
I run because I like to leave the house in a light grey shirt and return with a dark grey one in its place.
I run because I am having an affair with my Ipod and have an excuse to spend more time with it.
I run because I want to be healthy and lose weight.
I run because I have a shoe fetish that doesn't involve high heels.
I run because I like to eat, and without running I would feel ten times more guilty.
I run because for a brief period this past winter/spring I couldn't due to illness.

Legal action

I finally did it. After contemplating for so long about whether or not to submit my information for further review for the class action lawsuit against Yaz, Yasmin, Ocella I did it. As you may have read in a previous post from way back, I had bilateral pulmonary embolisms and a DVT this past Christmas. Everyone believes it was linked to using Ocella.

Who knows what will come of it. But it won't hurt to find out.

The honeymoon is over

I knew with so many good days of running in a row this past week it would come to an end sooner or later. That later was yesterday morning during the Race for Chase 5k run. I knew it was going to be a little out of my element since the race was held at the state park in our town. The state park that's on a hill. In fact its so much on top of a hill its called Round Top. The only paved and flat course is the paved road at the very top. But the race started at the lower pavilion, key word lower.

I got there a little early to register since I hadn't done so prior to the race. I should have known at that point I was in for an interesting race when lots and lots of cross country runners from around the area were showing up, including my high school's cross country coach. Then my limited memory recalled oh wait, our high school cross country course was at Round Top. Insert feeling of wanting to get back in my car and go home. At that point I came to terms with the fact that I might not PR today.

The race started at 9AM. It was hot and humid. Probably around 150 runners. I took my usual spot at the back of the pack. And followed the heard along the road and into the woods. The trail wasn't too bad at first. Bumpy, rocky with tree roots and uneven ground, but that's to be expected on a trail run, right? I can handle this I said, until I rounded a corner on the trail and saw the hill. With an incline so steep I contemplated climbing it as opposed to running. I started running it, got halfway up and realized at the pace I was running it I would waste less energy walking and still be going about the same speed. So I walked. Not very happy about that but I did. I walked to the top and came out at the top paved area. I started to run again. The course took us one lap around the top and then back down the main road to where we started. Once you got back down to the lower pavilion you went past that, up another road, another steep incline I might add, and back through the woods. All uphill again. I walked most of the uphills. This disappointed me because I usually try to at least SLOWLY job inclines, but with the conditions of the course I knew to embrace walking and make up for it on solid ground.

Past the lower pavilion and back to the original trail I knew to run until I got to the hill and then walk. And walk I did. Another loop around the top road and ended with the finish line at the top. When I got to the top of the hill I knew I could possibly get in under 35 minutes. Which is far off my last race time, but still something I would be ok with. So I rejoined the herd of mostly women who I had been around the rest of the race and picked up my pace. I finished in 34:15. Which like I said could have been better, but could have been a LOT worse.

I had a lady come up to me after the race and thank me for pacing her? I told her no problem, but in the back of my mind thinking, How did I pace anyone when I was basically dying the entire time.

Therapy in the form of running

I have to admit. I was nervous to go for a run today, especially since my 5k this weekend felt so good. I'm a hit or miss kind of runner. One day I love it. One day I hate it. Other days I tolerate it. But today was exactly the run I needed. I needed a good run where I could shut my mind off and just listen to my Ipod and put one foot in front of the other. I haven't had a run like that in so long I was almost convinced that kind of run no longer exists for me...

I think sometimes the playlist makes the run. Do you know how certain lyrics in a song kind of sum up any kind of life experience. Whether it be your current situation, or something in the past.

With my mind on autopilot and no longer gasping for air I could actually listen to my playlist. One WHOLE song after another. One foot in front of the other.

Here's today's playlist with snippets of the lyrics that stood out to me today:

Kid Cudi - Pursuit of Happiness

"I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know not everything that shines is always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it...I'll be good".

Shontelle - Impossible
"Tell them all I know now, shout it from the roof tops. Write it on the sky line. All we had is gone now. Tell them I was happy, and my heart is broken. All my scars are open. Tell them what I hoped would be impossible."

Mika - Love today

"Everybody's gonna love today. Any way you want to. Anyway you've got to. Love, love me"

Eminem ft Rihanna - Love the way you lie

"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. Well, thats alright because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry. Well that's alright because I like the way you lie."

Florence + the machine - Dog Days are Over

"Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father, run fast for your children, for your sisters and brothers. Leave all your love and your longing behind, you can't carry it with you if you want to survive."

Kelis- Acapella

"Till I stopped over thinking and decided to draw back the curtains. And I cleared all the cobwebs and began to let in the light."

Insomnia

I can't sleep. In fact I haven't been able to sleep for the past couple days. I sleep for an hour or two and then wake up and lay there for another hour or two. I think I'm stressed. Excited. Nervous. Scared. Anxious. Scared. Scared. Scared. Or E, all of the above. I write better than I talk, and writing leads to rambling and rambling leads to venting. And since there is no way you can talk back right now, I am talking at you. Or at myself and you just happen to be the person who gets to read it when they wake up in the morning.

Do you ever feel like you're just waiting for something to happen? Almost as if you are waiting for life to happen to you, not around you. I'm so tense right now and so unsure of what the hell I am doing. Or what I'm going to be doing. Why am I moving? Why am I picking up my life and dropping it onto the coast of Florida, alone. Well alone plus Lincoln. Am I running from something? Am I trying to prove a point? It's not that I don't like my family. It's not that. I love my family, although love isn't a word used very often in this household. My parents say it to one another, but I can't remember the last time I heard my dad use that word toward my brother or I. The words I love you are uncomfortable to say. Is that weird? We don't talk about feelings. Things are just assumed. And assumptions lead to miscommunication and never seeing eye to eye. My dad and I are too much alike and we're butting heads lately. About everything. You name it, we get in an argument about it. Whether its me having a short temper or him being too bullheaded to hear my point of view without making assumptions, there's a disagreement. There was another disagreement last night. My life is full of so many unknowns right now I can't take it. He wanted to know specific dates for moving. I don't have specific dates. I don't even know if I will be moving. I don't even know if I'm going to pass my test. No passing equals no moving. And no moving means getting stuck in the valley. It's like a black hole. There is no room for growth. Everyone who stays here gets stagnant and complacent in their lives. The thought of it is suffocating. And frightening.

I feel trapped right now. I'm back in a place where I grew up and I feel like I'm fighting for air. It's like I need to come up for air and I can't. I feel smothered and anxiety levels are high. I'm pulled in ten different directions except nothing is pulling me. It's like my own expectations for myself that are pulling me. I'm almost trying to make an excuse for failure to be an option just so I won't feel so bad if the unmentionable happens and I don't pass my test. Is this normal? Do we prepare ourselves for the worst so that when the best ends up happening we are that more appreciative?

I'm freaking out, man!

Have I reached my breaking point? Not yet, but I feel it coming soon. As you know, or don't know, I've been studying to take my PT board exam. The date has been scheduled. D-Day is next Wednesday which seems like a long time from now, but is approaching like a freight train with lights on high and horn blaring. It makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. My heart rate is through the roof just typing about it.

On top of the exam, I'm moving. Assuming I pass the boards without a hitch I am moving to Florida. From Pennsylvania. 1000+ miles from home and everything I've known for the majority of my 25 short years. It's exciting, it really is. But part of me wonders WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING? Does anyone ever really know what they're doing? It's not that I'm not happy with my life in Pennsylvania, but there's other stuff out there that I need to experience, be it on my own or with others. Maybe it's time to grow up? Maybe I have grown up? Maybe I'm freaking out! A new life, a fresh start...is that what you really need? Is this what I really need? Does anyone every reallllly know what they need? So many questions with so little answers.

I'm at a crossroads in my life where I need to feel something.

I think Trace Adkins' said it best

"But I wanna feel something
Something thats a real something
That moves me, that proves to me Im still alive
I wanna heart that beats and bleeds
A heart thats busting at the seams
I wanna care, I wanna cry, I wanna scream
I just wanna feel something ..."

Run it into the ground

Boilermaker 5k Race Report

Utica, NY: The boilermaker is more well known for the 15k run, but there is a 5k event as well. Since I'm not quite ready to take on a 9.3 mile run, I knew I had the 5k no problem. Regardless, of how many races I run I always get nervous right before the event and today was no exception. Maybe it was the fact that I was going to be running amongst 3,000 other runners. That's a big increase from the usual 200-300 I'm used to. Anxiety was high as I made my way to wait for the start. I didn't know what to do in terms of timing. The event was chipped but with that many people you knew that it would be a good decent distance before crossing the start line. What do you do? Do you run to the start, do you follow the herd and do as others are doing? Turns out everyone felt the same way about conserving energy because everyone was walking to the start before running. Good call mass herd of people, I concur! I started my HRM time as soon as I reached the start line.

Mile 1- So they forgot to mention that miles 1 and 3 of the course were uphill. Weaving in and out of people wasn't quite as impossible as one would think. There was a water station right after the start line that people were flocking towards. At that point I made the mental note to avoid whatever side of the road the water stations were on for the remainder of the course. There were times where I felt somewhat like Frogger. Back and forth without getting run over and/or hit. At mile 2 my watch said 8:35. Um fast pace for me much?

Mile 2: What does up must come down. The majority of the second mile was downhill which helped a lot. There were bands every few 100 feet with DJ's and crowds upon crowd upon crowds of people cheering everyone on, regardless if they knew them or not. It was so great and so motivating it was at the point where I told myself, "No matter what happens I'm running this race into the ground. Walking is not an option." End of mile 2 watch said 17:54.

Mile 3: Surprisingly I didn't hit my usual wall. Maybe the treadmill intervals mixed into my running program are helping. Maybe it was the crowds of people and the masses were willing me forward, but whatever it was I knew that I could come in under 31 minutes today. As I said uphill again. But I pushed through and continued to pass people. It was almost like a game at this point, just picking the next person to pass. This race definitely makes me want to run larger races. The crowds and the energy just keep you moving.

With less than .3 miles to go it was go time. I crossed the finish line with a watch time of 30:33. I have a feeling it might be a little bit faster so I'll have to see official chip time when results are posted. But whatever the time was it's an improvement from my last 5k time of 31:45. I've got the runner's bug again...

Today's Playlist:

Enrique Iglesias - I like it

Justin Bieber - Somebody to love

Katy Perry - California Girls

Eminem - Not afraid

Shontelle - Impossible

Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster

Taio Cruz - Dynamite

Natasha Bedingfield - Touch

Keep the races coming!

Heat wave

Well it's weigh in Wednesday, and I'm not as excited to post here as I have been in previous weeks. I gained 2 pounds this week. Blame it on the food, blame it on the drinks, blame it on the weather, blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-a-alcohol...you can blame it on anything really, but at least my week starts over today. I was slowly getting back on track from the weekend so I'm really not surprised I gained weight. It could have been worse. It could have been like 10 pounds, if that's even possible, which it isn't I looked it up. It could be my Friday night pizza and beer fest at Party on the patio, it could have been the numerous mayo based salads I consumed between Saturday and Sunday, it could have been the numerous hotdogs I ingested throughout the past 4-5 days. It's done, it's over and next week there will be a loss.

Warning: The following rant may offend you if you participate in the activity I'm about to discuss. If it does and you do, I apologize in advance

It's hot out. I get that. I can read the thermometer on the deck outside or check the temperature on weather.com.

So why, why, why do people insist on taking a picture of the thermometer reading inside your car and posting it on Facebook? We get it, its hot. We knew it was hot before you

shared the temperature reading with the rest of the social networking community.

It wasn't as if I woke up this morning oblivious to the heat being blown in through my window box fan until I logged on Facebook and saw your picture and immediately realized just how unbearably hot it is outside. You're a regular freaking meteorologist aren't you?

*End Rant* I'm sorry maybe I'm just bitter because my parents refuse to install the A/C unit.

I must confess...

I peeked at the scale today. I usually do on Tuesday mornings. I don't know why, but I almost always do, even though my weigh in day is Wednesday and it really won't make any difference between Tuesday and Wednesday morning. Well I'm up 3.5 pounds since last weigh in. Um, is that even possible? I know I didn't do so hot this weekend foodwise but I've gotten in hella APs, 61.5 to be exact. I'm hoping some of it is water weight from all the sodium and deliciousness and retaining water from lifting weights yesterday.

We'll see what my friend the scale says tomorrow morning. If it could speak it would probably just say, "Stop going to picnics, idiot!"

Damage control and today's tunes.

In leui of anything interesting to post I could talk about how much damage control I'm going to have to do this week to undo my weekend full of picnics and deliciousness. But instead all I can say I tracked it, got in my exercise each day, and enjoyed my food...ok maybe enjoyed a little TOO much but whatev. Back on track starting...NOW. Boilermaker 5k this weekend so gotta clean up my act if I want to see some improvement!

Today's Top Ten Tunes!

Here's what's on cycling through my Ipod this week.

1. Taio Cruz - Dynamite <---obsessed

2. Ne-Yo - Beautiful Monster

3. Lil Jon and LMFAO - Get outta your mind <--- Thank you So You Think You Can Dance

4. Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts <---Once again big shout out to SYTYCD

5. Florence + The machines - Cosmis Love <---Um can you say SYTYCD again?

6. Mike Posner - You think you're cooler than me

7. Drake ft Nikki Minaj - Up all night

8. N.E.R.D- Hot n fun

9. The Cranberries - Zombie <--- Whoa throwback!

10. Snow Patrol - Set Fire to the Third bar

Oh, almost forgot! I finally got my authorization to test. D-Day has been set for July 21 at 8:30 AM. Getting in the routine of waking up at at a decent time i.e 7:45 AM starts TOMORROW. It's kind of a good thing, because the weather forecast this week is humid with a side of heat from hell. So I can get my runs/workouts in early morning before I melt into a puddle on the sidewalk mid-run.

Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday weekend! Keep it classy.