Weigh in Wednesday!

It's that time again.

I was a little nervous for weigh in today. I was almost positive it would be a gain. It's been so hot and humid here for the past week and it makes you feel all sorts of bloated. But I faced my friend the scale this morning, and I'm down 1 pound. I feel like after all the time I spend with my scale I almost need to name it. That way I have someone to yell at when I don't see the results I want.

I didn't meet my July goal of 195 by July 1, unless I miraculously lose 2 pounds between now and tomorrow morning. But I'm still steadily losing each week. Time to set some new goals. Maybe a goal weight for August 1? Maybe a goal weight for Labor Day?

Alright, we're going to enter into Judgement Free zone for a few sentences:

I'm 25 years old, and I am here to report that I went to the midnight premiere of Eclipse. Doors opened at 10:30 and when my friend and I got there it was mass chaos, complete mayhem, overall shitshow, and all of the above. We're talking pre-teen and teenage girls screaming, running up and down the aisles, and dancing on the stage. Somehow the manager of the local theater thought, "Hey, you know what would make this night even better? Let's hire a DJ to play from 10:30 until the start of the movie." Was it a good idea? Maybe, but that's still to be determined. Don't ask me why I like Twilight. Really, don't ask, because I honestly don't have an answer. The author's writing is sub-par, and the movies are sometimes painful to watch due to awkward onscreen romance and a cast full of B rate actors/actresses. But yet I'm sucked in nonetheless. When will I grow up?

Hopefully NEVER!

Today's work out was brought to you by...

Lil' Wayne and Lil' Jon

I didn't plan it that way. But my playlist today was a mash up of primarily Lil' Wayne and Lil' Jon songs. I'm not complaining. I mean, I don't mind the company on my runs from time to time.

Today's Play list:

Flo-Rida - In the Ayer

Lil' Wayne - I'm me

Lil Jon - Give it all you got

Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz - Get Low

Lil' Wayne - Mrs. Officer

Lil' wayne - A millie

LMFAO ft Lil Jon - SHOTS!

I' d like to take this opportunity to address the populaton we like to call operators of motorized vehicles. Being a pedestrian quite often, since I do what we like to call exercise on an everyday basis, I have observed the following thing about operators of motorized vehicles. Over the years they have developed a staring problem. Yes, its true, I am on foot, bike, blade, whichever I prefer for that particular day, and you are behind the wheel. This conclusion can be drawn with a simple one second glance, not craning your neck to make sure you saw right. I know from first glance it looks as though me running is breaking all laws, rules, statements of physics. But, yes I am on the sidewalk and you are on the road. I am burning calories and you are burning fuel. Fuel which in the near future will cost you one arm, both legs and your soul.

END RANT. *Cue music*

Beer + 15k = Good

Where do I sign up? I may have a runner's high right now, but I know I'm definately not high enough to convince myself that I'm ready for a 15k on July 11th. Enter Boilermaker 15k in Utica, NY.

"The Boilermaker 15K road race hosts over 10,000 runners per year. Boilermaker Weekend offers events for participants of every age and skill level. It has grown to include fitness and special events, such as a 5K Run, a 3 Mile Walk, a Youth Run, an Invitational Mile, Kids' Olympics, a Health and Fitness Expo., and more. Designed around the weekend’s crown jewel, the Boilermaker 15K Road Race, Boilermaker Weekend promotes a healthy lifestyle with a focus on fun, family, and community spirit!"

Did I mention it's sponsored by a brewery? With beer served at the post-race party? And each race participant receives a Boilermaker pint glass?

Lucky for me, they have a 5k race to remedy my itch to run again! You'll find me at the finish line belly up under the Saranac tent. Game on!

Running...and running...and running

First 5k since PE/DVT in the books. Jim King Memorial 5k race held here in my hometown Athens, PA. I went to school with Jim's son Devin so not only was it a great opportunity to get out and run, but it was also for a good cause. Devin's dad died of brain cancer 5 years ago and he was really really active in the community, head of the fire department and really big on community events. They've been holding this run for him every year since he passed. It starts and finishing at the Fire Department...very fitting.

Here's the route. Not bad. Your standard out and back course. Mostly flat with a couple hills, but mostly gradual inclines. I've run this route a few times in the weeks leading up to the race so I kind of knew what to expect, where I hit my walls and where I could coast through.

I felt pretty good for the first mile. The first .5 miles is on a somewhat incline so again I knew what to expect. At the one mile marker I knew I was running a pretty good pace. I came across the mile marker at 9:50. A little bit faster than my usual pace for 10 minute miles. At that point I knew I had to keep it up if I wanted to get in under 32:00. My all time personal best for a 5k is 30:15, but I knew I wasn't touching that today.

Mile 2 was ok. I hit a wall around the 1.5 mile marker, like I always do. That's something I need to work on. I feel like I come out strong but halfway through my body decides it doesn't really agree with what I'm doing anymore.

Mile 2. Came across at 20:23. So that's roughly a 10:30 split. I'll take it. At this point I knew I had a little over 12 minutes to get my sorry butt back across that finish line if I wanted to

make my goal today.

Around 2.5 miles I was feeling good. I was enjoying the atmosphere, and I even passed some people. I caught up to Devin around 2.75 miles and we ran the rest out together. I apologized because I'm not much for small talk when I'm running...I'm more a fan of breathing and not passing out.

3 mile marker. I crossed in 30:35. Ok I had a little over a minute and a half to get my sorry butt across that finish line. Only complication. My headphones died about a half mile back. So the usual sounds of Coheed and Cambria - In keeping secrets of silent earth were not pushing me across the finish line at this point. I kicked it into high gear and finished in 31:45. I'll take it. Considering the last 5k I did I finished in 36:41. With some stops to walk. Next race...not sure. But I'll be ready!

Today's Playlist:

Usher- O.M.G

Eminem - Not Afraid

Ludacris- My chick bad

3oh!3 ft Ke$ha- My first kiss

Christina Aguilera ft Nikki Minaj - Woohoo

Mika- Love Today

Florence + the Machine - Dog Days are Over

Coheed and Cambria - In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth (well the first 30 seconds before my headphones died)

I have something I like to call runner's ADD when I listen to my Ipod. I'm sure there were brief snippets of other songs in there, but I get trigger happy and skip halfway through.

Hello Guilt, we meet again...

I should have known my statement at lunch today would come back to haunt me. Either that or it was a premonition of things to come. I spent the morning studying for my boards and subconsciously thinking about my bank account and the downward slide it continues to take with each passing day.

I made myself some Smartones Mini Pizza Bagels (5 points) and a low point salad. As I was eating my mini bagels I was thinking out loud to my brother and sister-in-law, "I could really sit down and eat an entire pizza right now."

Fast forward to this evening. I got in a nice bike ride along the river and back. I tried to kick it into high gear and finish the 5.4 mile route in 25 minutes. Unfortunately, I came in just

over 26 minutes. I came home and my parents had gotten Pizza Hut pizza and breadsticks for dinner. At first I told myself no, don't eat it. But one breadstick turned into 3 breadsticks and one piece of pizza turned into 3 pieces of pizza. And now here I am. Full. Do I regret it? Kind of, but I tracked it and I had the weekly points for it. And will get in more APs this weekend with my 5k tomorrow. Maybe I'll just tell myself it was carbo loading before the race tomorrow.

On a lighter note, it's my first 5k tomorrow post PE/DVT. I'm excited and nervous, but mostly excited and ready to run again. Check back tomorrow for race details.

Too much time on my hands...

It's funny how things turn out, huh? In all my years of living I never really understood that saying. How is it that things turning out poorly are "funny." Or things that turn out differently than expected are 'funny.' What's funny? Everytime things don't go as planned I don't laugh my ass off. Oh, you want me to say that things are ironic. Alanis Morissette shot that theory down with her song about things being ironic. When in all reality everything she sang about wasn't in fact ironic, they just plain sucked.

Here's something I've been pondering for quite some time. If given the opportunity to utilize a time machine, would you? A majority of you would say yes without skipping a beat. But think about it. And I mean really think about it, would you really change the past? And who's to say changing the past would make your present that much greater? Think of the movie Butterfly Effect. He goes back to change one thing and the next thing you know...BAM not having any appendages. Imagine waking up to that one.

Why change the past? Its done and over with. If you're still living and breathing apparently you didn't die from it. It may have hurt like hell at the time whether it be emotional or physical pain, but hey there you are. A normal functioning human being, granted our definition of normal is all the same.

Everyone has that one person they say they wish they had never met. I've even taken that into consideration as well. But for as much pain thats been caused I still am always glad to have met them. Regardless of how things ended or are progressing. You learned something. And chances are you cared a lot about whoever this person is. Things happen for reasons. No, F that. Things happen because you make them happen. And everything from that point is just a result of the decisions you make. Our lives are split into series of moments. Before this and after that.

I don't quit, I resign.

I found this on my old blog...

To Whom It May Concern:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old. The tax base is lower. I want to be six again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big Oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summers' day. I want to stay up late on Christmas Eve and wait for Santa Claus and his reindeer.

I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips. I want to be happy, because I don't know what should make me upset. I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much.

I want to be six again. I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever, because I don't know the concept of death. I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something used for escape from the things I should be doing. I want to live knowing the little things that I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them. I want to be six again.

I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me. I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else. I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for. I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist, and how to find the money to fix the old car. I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up and what I'll be, who I'll be and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.

I want that time back. I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of homework,or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use for the snowman's mouth. I want to be six again.

Sincerely,
Lindsay

And these are a few of my favorite things...

I feel the need to counteract the negativity radiating from my last post.

Behold a sampling of my favorite things:

In the world of workout I have several staple items that I must have in order to sweat properly:

Polar F6 Heart Rate Monitor. Where would my workouts be without it? I've had this since December of last year. It pushes me to go that extra 23 calories to put me at 600, 700, etc. For once I don't feel so guilty about eating my activity points.

Ipod Nano. Hello music to and in my ears. Whether my nano is telling me to "Just Dance" or Coldplay is serenading me with their ballad dedicated to my favorite color, yellow, I can not...will not...should not leave the house without this piece of technology. Check out this week's Top Ten Tunes to see what's on repeat this week.

My current shoe obsession is Saucony. I've been known to dabble with the likes of Brooks, Asics, and New Balance but Saucony just keeps me coming back for more. Now if only these shoes could help me run a 7:00 minute mile and it really would be a match made in heaven. Saucony, my feet thank you!

Stuck in the middle

Raise your hand if your life is in Limbo right now.

No? Just me?

I'm in that weird transition period being being a student and being a professional. While I have graduated with my Doctorate that degree is otherwise useless without a license number. Its funny to think just a few numbers stand between me and practicing Physical Therapy. You would think 7 years of schooling should count for something more than a diploma in a pretty frame that can't really be used until you have a license. I mean I get it. You need to ensure that the public will be in good hands with all the new practitioners out there. But really all I want to do is schedule my test.

I wish they had told you in school how fun the licensing process would be. They explained the exam and told you how to prepare for it, but what they failed to mention is just how much fun the waiting game is. At this point I am frustrated with someone I've never even met. I submitted my licensure application to the state of Florida in the middle of May. I receive an email today that said my application has been put on the agenda to be submitted to eligibility on June 30th. Huh? In simple terms please? Basically my application has been accepted but now I just get to wait another week on top of the several weeks I've been waiting.

It wouldn't be so bad if I could schedule my exam, but I can't do that without an authorization to test, which doesn't come until your application is approved for eligibility. So now I'm studying with no end in sight. I wanted to originally take my test either this week or next week, but as you can see that is clearly not the case.

So until then, I will continue to study...and study...and study....and study...and to mix it up a little bit take a few more practice tests.

Sorry for the long post. To summarize: I'd like my life to be off hold so I can take my test. Pass. Move to Florida. Start my job. The end....or the beginning?

ABC's of Me

I've seen this on several blogs I follow, so here it is:

A – Age: 25
B – Bed size: Full
C – Chore you hate: Laundry
D – Dog’s name: Lincoln
E – Essential start your day item: Shower
F – Favorite color(s): YELLOW
G – Gold or Silver: Silver
H – Height: 5’7"
I – Instruments you play: Flute. But not currently.
J – Job title: Physical Therapist... as soon as I pass my boards.
K – Kid: Puppy's count as kids.
L – Living arrangements: Living with the 'rents until I pass the boards...then FLORIDA BOUND
M – Mom’s name: Martha
N – Nicknames: Athens, A-Train, Linds
O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Dec '09 for PE/DVT
P – Pet Peeve: Hearing people drink anything liquid. Loud drinkers I guess you can say.
Q – Quote from a movie: "Hey, how you doing? How 'bout that ride in, haha. I guess that's why they call it sin city"
R – Right or left handed: Right
S – Siblings: Ian and Sister-in-law Erica
T – Time you wake up: Around 9
U – Underwear: Currently Victoria's Secrets Pink
V – Vegetable you dislike: MUSHROOMS
W – Workout style: High impact- running, spinning, kickboxing, body sculpting.
X – X-rays you’ve had: chest, teeth
Y – Yesterday’s best moment: Forcing myself to go for a run.
Z – Zoo favorite: Monkeys, penguins

Weigh in Wednesday!

Good morning/afternoon! Today is weigh in Wednesday. I really don't know why I originally chose Wednesday as a WI day. It's just always been the day I've done it. I think originally my logic was that it was far enough from the weekend that I could self correct any damage that had been done, yet close enough to the weekend that I still have all my weeklies for anything I want to do on the weekend. Plus I've found that Wednesdays my weight is usually at its lowest. Yea, anyway....

Today I lost 1.5 pounds, putting me at 198 for the week. I'll take it. I'm slowly creeping toward my goal of 195 by July 1. Is it still possible? Yes, we'll see.

On an unrelated weight loss note, GO USA! World Cup is in the air, and I can almost hear the Vuvuzela like it's in my own backyard.

Part of what makes me...ME

At 24 years old, I was not the first person you would suspect to have a pulmonary embolism. Let alone bilateral blood clots in both lungs and a DVT in my right calf. So imagine my surprise when a trip to the ER secondary to chest pain and coughing up blood gave me that result.

I recently graduated with my Doctorate of Physical Therapy. I have spent the last two decades of my life in school and have been counting down the days until it was all over. I've had overall good health up until now, with the occasional cold or sore throat. I've had my musculoskeletal issues due to over training, or just not knowing when to give my body a rest. I've also been on birth control since I graduated high school. I started out on Yasmin, and about a year ago I was switched to Ocella.

My symptoms first started over last Thanksgiving. I was in Atlanta, GA for a clinical rotation about 14 hours away from my hometown. I decided to take a trip down to Tampa to visit classmates for the holiday since we were all orphaned. It was about an 8 hour drive and I was slightly nervous because I had never taken a trip that far by myself. Thanksgiving day during dinner I got a calf cramp. It felt like one of those cramps you get during the night and you feel sore for a couple days afterward. Not a painful sore, just like you worked your muscles the previous day. I brushed it off. As a PT student I know what a DVT is. But again I brushed it off. I'm young, I'm healthy and that stuff doesn't happen to me.

The pain persisted for almost a week. I stretched, I iced, I exercised, I stretched some more. I took ibuprofen. I used heat, I did soft tissue massage. And yet never once did I think, maybe it could be a DVT. I knew the signs, and I knew the risks, and I did nothing.

The pain went away. And I continued with my normal routine. Spinning, running, lifting, biking, swimming, etc. Again I was invincible. I'm young, I'm healthy and that stuff doesn't happen to me.

Fast forward to Christmas eve. I start to complaining of some back pain on the way home from last minute shopping. I went through everything I did at the gym that day that could have caused me pain. I blamed it on my run that day. Christmas day I start to have pain in my ribs on the left side and its starting to hurt when I take a deep breath. I mentioned it to my dad who is a respiratory therapist. He told me to keep an eye on it over the next few days because it could be the start of pleurisy or pneumonia. The next day I started to get pain in my left shoulder. Again my dad says to keep an eye on it because that could be referred pain from pleurisy or pneumonia. By the time Monday rolled around it's not getting any better. I feel a "rubbing" sensation in my left side when I take a deep breath. My dad and I went to the walk in clinic. The standard exam. But the nurse practitioner said something to me that stood out and stayed with me when she sent me to get chest x rays to rule out pleurisy or pneumonia, "Hmm it sounds something like a pulmonary embolism, but then again you're too young for that."

The wheels in my head started turning. My dad and I went over it on the way home. PE? Calf pain at thanksgiving...but that was 4-5 weeks ago with no further symptoms. PE? No way, you're healthy, you're young and that sort of thing wouldn't happen to you.

Tuesday morning I'm awake at 4 AM in severe pain. Severe stabbing pain in both sides of my chest and back. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to move, it hurts in general. I'm starting to cough and this time its not a dry cough. I'm coughing up blood. At this point my no nonsense dad is throwing me in the car and taking me to the ER. If you want door to door service at the ER, tell them you're coughing up blood. You are triaged, and in a room with a doctor at your side in no time. I explained my story, my what seemed like outlandish story to the doctor. At this point it feels like I've rattled off my symptoms for 10+ people in the past two days. And then I mentioned the calf pain from prior and the coughing up blood. I get 6 tubes of blood drawn.

After an hour of watching the Today Show and pretending to be distracted my doctor comes back and explains my D dimers are elevated and I need a contrast chest CT scan. I make a joke about it being my lucky day and blah blah blah. We laugh, but on the inside I'm not laughing. Not laughing at all. I'm young, I'm healthy, and this sort of thing doesn't happen to me.

Another wait and another doctor comes and goes. My chest CT is positive for bilateral pulmonary embolisms in the bases of my lungs. Wait, bilateral? So not one, but two pulmonary embolisms. And now I'm having ultrasounds done on both of my legs to determine whether or not there are more clots that could cause further damage.

Another nurse and another wait and I'm covered in ultrasound gel making small talk with the woman who is about to tell me what I didn't want to hear. "There it is, we spoke too soon. There's a clot behind your right knee." Oh that leg, yea the one I ignored and brushed off as nothing because I'm young, I'm healthy and that sort of thing doesn't happen to me. But the thing is that sort of thing did happen to me.

Drugs are being rattled off at rapid fire, possible scenarios are being discussed with me. Next thing you know I'm being admitted to the hospital for further observation and the only thing I can think to ask my dad is, "Are you sure they won't at least let me go home and take a shower first, I promise I'll come back."

So here I am. 25 years old. I'm still young, but I'm not so healthy anymore. My 25 year old life just got a little more complicated. Somewhere between daily injections of Lovenox into my abdomen and daily blood tests to determine INR levels I'm not so young and not so healthy anymore and this sort of thing just happened to me.

Is my life over? No, not in the least. I'm just not allowed to do some of the things I like to do. My triathlon training is put on hold for the season. But I'm alive. I'm alive when some odds say I probably shouldn't be.

Am I angry? Yes and no. Angry at who? Myself? Ocella? Long drives? It's easy to blame something or someone. Maybe if I had paid more attention at the time this could have been avoided, but that's not the case. The only option I have now is to make the best of an otherwise sucky situation. And share my story and live and learn. And continue to be thankful that even though this sort of thing did happen to me, I'm young and I'm healthy.

Running down a dream...

Or running in the opposite direction. I've always had a love/hate relationship with running and today's run was of mixed emotions. I wish running came easy to me and I wish it wasn't one of those things that 95% of the time feels like a chore and the other 5% I feel like a lunatic for enjoying.

I'm trying to get back into running. My ultimate goal is to someday do a half marathon. I've done a couple sprint triathlons which I'm really proud of, but never a half marathon. Something about running 13.1 miles at one time should normally send most people doing the exact opposite, or at least running in the opposite direction. I've made multiple attempts at training for a half. First attempt, failed by foot injury default. Second attempt, failed by other health concerns (which will be posted in a seperate blog in and of itself).

Maybe this time is the time that I can do it. Any tips from people who have done half marathons?

Today's Top Ten Tunes.

Music is a big part of my life. Also, since I like to exercise like a fiend it's a big part of my workout motivation. I tend to get somewhat obsessed with a couple of songs per week and they get frequented in Itunes for about 2-3 weeks. I'll be posting my current obsession weekly for anyone who needs some ear candy to get them going.

Today's Top Ten Tunes:

1. Usher - O.M.G ---> OBSESSED!

2. Enrique Iglesias - I like it

---> Never said I was proud of my choices.

3. Justin Bieber - Somebody to Love

---->Yep, I'm 25 and I have Bieber Fever. Again, never said I was proud.

4. Lady Gaga- So Happy I could Die

5. Paramore - The Only Exception

6. Jason Mraz - Beautiful Mess

7. Lady Antebellum - American Honey

8. Zac Brown Band - Free

9. Eminem ft Rihanna - I love the way you lie

10. Florence + the Machine - Dog days are over

I'm a Big Kid now!

So here I am. Doing something I never thought I would do. I read a lot of blogs, but I've never really wanted to write my own. What if no one read it? What if someone read it and didn't like it? What if I didn't like it? What if I spent a lot of time just rambling about the uneventful days that make up my day to day life. But then I came a revelation. Big Kids have Adventures. And this is the first of many.

I graduated in May. May 8, 2010 to be exact with my Doctorate of Physical Therapy and not a lot of money in my bank account. I'm currently studying for my dreaded boards and trying to do all the things I used to do when I was in undergrad during the summer. Finding a balance between the two has proven to be somewhat time consuming in and of itself.

My days aren't really that exciting thus far, probably not even blogworthy, but they are now.

Why am I here? Isn't this the part of the blog entry where you tell your life story and state your reason for being here? I can't really pinpoint a particular reason, or state a main theme for this blog. I created this blog partly because I wanted a place to vent, to write and to document what's going on in my life. I also created this blog to kind of track my weight loss journey. The title of this post doesn't just refer to me being a grown up now in a big kid world. I'm also a big kid. I've struggled with weight my whole life and coincidentally have always been pretty active and "fit" to put it loosely.

I'm hoping I can come here to post about my goals, dreams, set backs, accomplishments, failures, and everything else in between. And maybe I'll have a fan club form somewhere along the way!